I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain by Courtney Robertson was my guilty pleasure read of the summer. In all honesty, this book was entertaining.
Courtney Robertson was portrayed as the villain of reality show The Bachelor several years ago, and ended up winning, which means getting engaged to Ben IDontKnowHowtoSpellHisLastName. In my defense, I have never seen her season and all I know of her comes from this book and a friend (who also showed me a few YouTube clips). I’m not particularly interested in watching it, either. The decision to read the book was based on the appeal of some behind the scenes info to further mock this let’s-go-on-two-dates-and-get-engaged show.
And this book was. so. entertaining. Courtney holds nothing back as she tells the story of her life and what led her to go on a reality show, what happened while she was on it and what life after has looked like for the villain. Every fan (or nonfan, depending upon your approach to watching) will find something interesting in this read. It’s like the ultimate spoiler, and remarkably engrossing.
Courtney starts out with a prologue describing Ben’s proposal from her perspective, then spirals back in time to her young, impressionable self. She brings the reader through the struggles of being the ugly duckling, discovering her sexuality, teen hormones, first loves, first modeling gigs and experiences (including being sent home for being unwilling to strip), and eventual move to LA.
Courtney elaborates on her years pre-Bachelor, including dating celebrities (Jesse Metcalfe, Adrian Grenier), on-and-off-relationships, her hometown love, one night stands and more. I’m sure every tabloid and gossip rag is having a field day with her book right now. She copies verbatim down emails, texts and messages exchanged, leading up to her casting call and acceptance emails from The Bachelor producers. Courtney’s modeling agent’s advice will loom forever in the reader’s mind, telling her that the show won’t help her career, but it shouldn’t hurt it, either. If only she had had an inkling then!
The weeks spent on The Bachelor seemed a bit glossed over, but the truth is the show is filmed over a period of several weeks before an engagement is forced. Courtney has two dates, one ocean rendezvous and a handful of conversations with Ben before they become engaged. She spends considerably more time attempting to be funny in her “In the Moment” interviews, which later dug her grave as the World’s Most Hated Person of reality shows.
I wouldn’t necessarily say that Courtney’s version of her experience redeemed herself, based on the clips I’ve seen and the reactions of her top haters. Yet she didn’t deny the terrible things she said, and even revealed some additional terrible things she said that didn’t make it on camera. She seemed remorseful for many of her actions and words, admitted mistakes, defended herself on occasion and held her ground on others. I applaud either her intuition, Deb Baer, or their editor on this degree of tell-all, because it kept the reader’s attention by providing an interesting mixture of confession, defensiveness, anticipated bitchiness and denial.
A good portion of the book was devoted to post-Bachelor life, the onslaught of public hatred as the show aired, the decline of her modeling career and turbulent engagement to a man she didn’t know, right up to the dissolution of their relationship, her Bachelor alumni hookups, and current life situation (down to who texted what and when as she was writing).
I was impressed by this book (remember, I never saw her season!). Our villain willingly exposed the dark corners of her closet (and others) with complete transparency- the uncomfortable kind of transparency. This tell-all was not intended to defend herself or her actions, but to tell the whole truth with blatant honesty and let people draw their own conclusions. It is rare that a writer does not attempt to sway the reader, and to me, Courtney said little to gain favor or influence me. She left it free for readers to hate her, love her, or any degree in between. The book was well-written, well-edited, interesting, concise, revealing and informative. My overall impression was that it had been an interesting experience to read it, and that the Bachelor franchise produces few genuine people or relationships. Keep that in mind future participants- a reality show can help you and it can hurt you, and if you choose that road, it will certainly affect you.
Okay, that’s it. Someone needs to recommend a dark murder mystery or crime novel to me, stat. I seem to be stuck in a continuous fluctuation between business non-fiction, bestsellers and chick-lit. EXPAND MY HORIZONS.
musings of a reader. 